Really funny short jokes english jobs

We're in need of high-quality images and short films showcasing our belt and roller conveyors for promotional purposes. Ideally, we'd like cinematic shots that highlight the key features and operations of the equipment. The short movies should be silent, with suitable, unobtrusive background music. Key Requirements: - Proficiency in photography and videography - Prior experience in industrial shooting and editing - Work on-site at DHL Waterfall City - Deliver attractive, high-resolution images - Create brief, engaging, non-narrative films of conveyor operations - Ability to select suitable background music for the videos - Deliver material suited for promotional purposes Your portfolio showing previous industrial photography and videography would be highly valu...

We're in need of high-quality images and short films showcasing our belt and roller conveyors for promotional purposes. Ideally, we'd like cinematic shots that highlight the key features and operations of the equipment. The short movies should be silent, with suitable, unobtrusive background music. Key Requirements: - Proficiency in photography and videography - Prior experience in industrial shooting and editing - Work on-site at DHL Waterfall City - Deliver attractive, high-resolution images - Create brief, engaging, non-narrative films of conveyor operations - Ability to select suitable background music for the videos - Deliver material suited for promotional purposes Your portfolio showing previous industrial photography and videography would be highly valu...

Your task is to make a video lasting 15-45 seconds. We will provide you with the script. It doesn't matter if you have any experience in filming before. The main thing is the ability to convey the text in an interesting and convincing way, as well as show emotions such as laughter, joy, fun and a little acting. If the script requires props, they should also be shown properly. Please note that this offer is only for slovak speakers.

I'm seeking a skilled graphic designer to create a modern, edgy design for a black t-shirt. You will be crafting an image of a...devil struggling to hold up the world. Critical specifics include: - Style: Picture should radiate a modern, edgy aesthetic rather than lean towards traditional or cartoonish styles. - Devil's Pose: Illustrate the devil struggling to hold up the world, indicating a sense of challenge and burden. - Color Scheme: Use a vibrant color palette to contrast with the black t-shirt, allowing the design to really pop. Ideal candidates should have robust experience in t-shirt graphic design, an innovative flare for edgy/modern designs, and proficiency working with vibrant color schemes. A portfolio with examples of similar work will significantly strength...

I'm looking for four fitness experts - 2 males and 2 females, with diverse backgrounds (white and black) - to help me create short, low-intensity home workout videos. These videos will be targeted at individuals looking to lose weight. - Each video should be 1 minute or less in duration. - I need the experts to provide a variety of workouts focusing on different areas of the body. Ideal candidates should have a strong fitness background, experience in creating workout videos and a good understanding of weight loss and low-intensity workouts. A good on-screen presence is also important. The goal is to create engaging videos that are accessible to a wide range of users, with a focus on simplicity and efficacy.

I am a content creator on YouTube launching a course in the fall of 2024, I am offering a fantastic opportunity for an experienced video editor to create an engaging and dynamic learning journey for my audience. Project Objectives: - Edit a total of ~ 25-30 videos, which will ma...to meet tight deadlines. I currently edit my own YouTube videos so I am very aware of the workflow. This project needs someone who can go beyond mere cutting and stitching of footage. If you have the skills and creativity to make learning fun and engaging through your edits, I'd love to hear from you. All candidates that make it through the initial selection process will be asked to edit a short video (~5 min) based on footage I supply. This will be UNPAID but will be used in determining the f...

Hello freelancer We are a translation company and we need a lot of Japanese translators. We can deliver projects on a long term basis at an average price per word. We need quality translators to protect our clients. Please enter price per word.

I'm looking for four fitness experts - 2 males and 2 females, with diverse backgrounds (white and black) - to help me create short, low-intensity home workout videos. These videos will be targeted at individuals looking to lose weight. - Each video should be 1 minute or less in duration. - I need the experts to provide a variety of workouts focusing on different areas of the body. Ideal candidates should have a strong fitness background, experience in creating workout videos and a good understanding of weight loss and low-intensity workouts. A good on-screen presence is also important. The goal is to create engaging videos that are accessible to a wide range of users, with a focus on simplicity and efficacy.

I am seeking an experienced professional who can gather the names, emails phone numbers and address for all English language schools within England, Wales, and Scotland. Due in 24hrs Requirements: - The data should include the school's name, email and phone number. - Only the emails need to be verified for accuracy. I aim to compile a comprehensive database for the purpose of contact outreach to these schools. I expect to find around 5000 English language schools across these regions. Ideal skills & experience: - Proficiency in data research and extraction. - Attention to detail for accurate data collection. - Experience in email verification procedures. - Strong communication skills for potential follow-up with the schools. The successful candidate will play a ...

Project is basically about reading data from file and then using algorithms and data structures sort those data as its needed and then write short documentation...I will also need you to explain me everything you made, how it works etc...Project consists of 4 chapters...1 chapter will be pinned

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I'm looking for a competent writer skilled in crafting engaging and captivating kids' stories. The target audience is elementary school children, between the ages of 6 to 12 years. Key Job Requirements: - Ability to write compelling stories for children - Skilled in the kids' literature ge...the ages of 6 to 12 years. Key Job Requirements: - Ability to write compelling stories for children - Skilled in the kids' literature genre Story Themes: - Adventure - Moral lessons Your role will be rewriting the already existed stories, in an extended version. Might change the language to make it more gripping. No prior experience is required. Just prove me that you can do it good with a short story so i can see your language. There will be 10-15 stories that you wi...

I am seeking an experienced online English teacher for children aged from 3 to 16. The ideal candidate should have a firm grasp of teaching Writing, Speaking, Listening, and Grammar. Your responsibility will involve: - Making engaging online classes using online learning platforms - Adapting your teaching methods to effectively cater to a diverse age range - Being consistent in monitoring and reporting on student progress. Experience with online learning platforms is a must. Certification in TEFL, TESOL, or equivalent would be an asset. Your commitment to making learning enjoyable, relatable, and effective are key to success in this role.

I need a skilled professional to design and develop a religious website that will be both in Marathi and English languages. The site will primarily serve the purpose of promoting events. I have a few specific features in mind for this site. Customer can book Pooja and other activities online with Payment Gateway. The content on the website will be managed by the admin only. I will be responsible for posting and updating the content. Ideal skills and experience for this project would include: - Proficiency in web development with experience in creating multi-language websites. - A good eye for design to ensure a visually appealing website. - Experience in implementing unique features such as event calendars and streaming services. - Prior experience in religious or community webs...

I want a strategy for tradingview that it opens the orders manually or crossing emas, we input a range for the stop loss and take profit using % or $ and when it reachs the SL it opens a new order using the same range and different direction, if it is long, turn in to a short but with the value increase by a pre set multiplier (one for the SL ad one for the TP) and also add a possibility to multiples TP We also need to pre set a limit of times that the reversion happens and also add a option tralling stop loss. Can you make it?

France French Recording Project We have a project, that needs Native France French speakers, we will give you the text, and you need to record 89 short sentences. you just need to download our software, to read our text and record it, it's a very easy job. 1. You will need to record in a quiet place without loud background noise. and without an echo. 2. Each person Price is 5$ for 89 short sentences record. 4. The project will take about 10-15 mins only. If you are interested please let me know sure. I will contact u. A Good Opportunity For New Freelancers For taking 5 Star Review after their completion of the project. Thanks :

I'm in need of an engaging article about what to bring on ...that combines entertainment with practicality - it should be both a joy to read and genuinely useful. Key Requirements: - Target Audience: Families with children - Tone: Light-hearted and fun The article should also include: - Practical Tips: This could be advice on what to pack, how to plan a picnic, and what to consider when choosing a spot. - Safety Precautions: It's important to provide a short yet comprehensive guide on keeping safe during your picnic. Ideal Skills & Experience: - Experience in writing family-oriented content - Ability to infuse a light-hearted tone into informative content - Previous experience in writing about practical tips and safety issues - A background in journalism or creative...

Russian Recording Project Note : We need Native Russian speakers for long term project. We have a project, that needs Native Russian speakers, we will give you the text, and you need to record 626 Short sentences. you just need to download our software, to read our text and record it, it's a very easy job. 1. You will need to record in a quiet place without loud background noise. and without echo. 2. Each person is $14 dollar for 626 sentences record. If you are interested please let me know sure.I will contact u. A Good Opportunity For New Freelancers For taking 5 Star Review after their completion of the project. Thanks :

Spanish Recording Project We have a project, that needs Native Spanish speakers, we will give you the text, and you need to record 50-60 short sentences. you just need to download our software, to read our text and record it, it's a very easy job. 1. You will need to record in a quiet place without loud background noise. and without an echo. 2. Each person Price is 3$ for 50-60 short sentences record. Every sentences is 2 word. 4. It will take time to finished 10-15 mins only. If you are interested please let me know sure. I will contact u. A Good Opportunity For New Freelancers For taking 5 Star Review after their completion of the project. Thanks :

I'm looking for someone proficient in both Hindi and English to assist me with translating a personal audio recording from Hindi to English. Key requirements: - Native or fluent in both Hindi and English. - Proven experience in voice translation work. - Able to capture the nuances, tone, and emotions of the original content in the translation. This translation is for personal documentation purposes, so it's important that the translated content is accurate and authentic. The original audio is around 30 minutes in length. Experience in personal documentation translations will be a plus.

I'm looking for an experienced Indonesian to English translator, specifically for legal documentation. The translated content must be certified by a sworn translator. Key Requirements: - Translate legal documents from Indonesian to English - Certification by a sworn translator Ideal skills and experience: - Proven experience in legal document translation - Sworn translator certification - Fluency in both Indonesian and English

I am seeking a proficient Pine Script specialist with a proven track record in creating high-accuracy indicators for TradingView. The goal is to produce an indicator that can deliver buy and sell signals with exceptional precision, particularly when applied to short timeframes ranging from 1 to 5 minutes. Key Requirements: - Development of a Pine Script Indicator: The main task is to design an indicator that generates both buy and sell signals. The accuracy of these signals is crucial, and they should be specifically tailored for the 1-5 mins timeframe. - Incorporation of Multiple Trading Indicators: While I do not have a specific strategy in mind, the ideal candidate should be well-versed in using a variety of indicators to create a robust and reliable tool. - Commitment to Non-Re...

I am looking for a SEO friendly AI Website Content writer who has strong knowledge over US English and can research and write AI related content. The website is for a new Company which will help in Management and technical consultancy to companies. Something like a mix of Mckinsey and BCG group sandwiched with something like a cognizant or Accenture. This is a company that does management consultancy this is a technical consultancy Also I want to include Gen Ai services in the same. This is a Gen Ai company example : it should look like a management consultancy as well as technical consultancy website with a flavor of Gen AI incorporated Initially 7 to 10 pages would be descent No blogs as of now. just core

I'm looking for a detailed and engaging article that introduces the reader to the world of large conference tables. This article should be between 1,200 and 1,500 words, and provide a mix of information and benefits that really sells the concept of these tables. Key Points to Cover: - Introduction to different types of large conference tables available in the market - Factors to consider when choosing the right large conference table - Benefits and advantages of utilizing large conference tables in a professional setting - Article needs to reference l3-5 links which will be provided upon awarding the project The target audience for this article is general, so the content should be approachable and informative to all readers. The tone should be professional and engaging, keepi...

...soundboard to record what they are saying. That means I have to predict in a certain way when people will say something in order to be able to record it and I can't see the future, which meant that I couldn't catch a lot of funny sentences and couldn't replay them. There is another function in the "Sound Deck" plugin, i.e. a button with which I can clip and save the last 15 seconds, but I cannot replay the sound directly but first have to create another button where I can then insert the sound and Only then can I play it in-game. The fact that 15 second clips are the minimum is also really poorly done, because a sentence from a teammate lasts 2-5 seconds and not 15. Now about the plugin that I need, as you can probably imagine, I would like a plug...

I am looking for a Cantonese-Spanish translator to accompany me on a daytime business trip to Guangzhou in June (06/28, 07/1-2-3). The trip will last less than a week and involves business negotiations. Ideal candidates should be: - Speaks Cantonese and Spanish fluently. - Strong in industry-specific terminology, particularly in business. - If possible, have some experience in exports. Your main responsibility will be to help me with translations during the different business meetings that are scheduled. Their role is crucial to ensure fluid communication. Your support will be greatly appreciated.

I'm in need of a skilled video editor to work on my music videos. Here are some relevant details about the work: - Video type: Music videos. - Duration: The videos are short, lasting less than 3 minutes. - Mood: I'm looking for an editor who can create a dark and edgy vibe. Ideal skills and experiences: - Strong understanding of music videos editing techniques. - Good at creating dark and edgy aesthetics. - Experience in working with short-duration projects. Please share your portfolio with similar works you've completed along your rates and estimated timeline per video in your proposal.

We are looking for an artist who will be able to create 6 custom artworks in a predetermined (similar) style as samples in attachment. Paintings should be very similar as design in attachmnet, but can not be exact copies. Can be the same text, also with McDuck or Bunny. Hight resolution of arts 8000x6000px. We...Mrs. Bunny, graffiti background White Text: A journey to Love: 2nd artwork: McDuck with lots of USD White Text: Forbes 3rd artwork: McDuck with lots of money, cigar in hand Gold Text: NO LUCK ALL HUSTLE 4th artwork: McDuck with bottles of Dom Pérignon Gold Text: DRINK CHAMPAGNE - SAVE WATER 5th artwork: McDuck with money in background with gun in his hand, cigar in mouth Gold Text: NO MONEY - NO FUNNY 6th artwork: Bunny looks luxury, background with money gold text: ...

I'm in need of an experienced Reddit virtual assistant who can successfully engage user interaction in a fun and engaging way. Your tasks will include: - Regularly posting relevant, funny and general content with a knack for memes. - Actively driving discussions on said topics to boost community interaction. It would be ideal if your skills and experience have a touch of wittiness, understanding of meme culture, and overall, a strong grasp of sparking interesting conversations within the Reddit platform. Prior experience in user engagement and community management on Reddit is also highly valued. Knowledge on how Reddit operates and functions is critical, so previous experience in posting and interacting on the platform will put you at an advantage. The aim is to create a dyn...

We are looking for a skilled freelancer who can accurately translate from English to Spanish. Please refrain from using translation machines as any submissions using them will be rejected.

We are seeking open-minded and willing participants for intimacy counselling and coaching sessions. The purpose of these sessions is to test and provide feedback on various adult-rated counselling techniques. Key Responsibilities: - Participate in individual or couple's counselling sessions focused on intimacy and relationship enhancement. - Engage with and provide honest feedback on different counselling techniques. - Maintain open communication with the counsellor to ensure the effectiveness of the methods used. - Ensure confidentiality and a respectful approach throughout the process. Qualifications: - Must be open-minded and comfortable discussing a wide range of intimate and sexual topics. - Strong communication skills and the ability to provide constructive feedback. - Willi...

I'm in need of a bilingual (Spanish/English) beta reader for my werewolf romance novels. This project is primarily focused on: - Reviewing the plot coherence and engagement. - Providing feedback in an audio format. Ideal candidates for this role should be fluent in both Spanish and English, and have a passion for romantic fiction, particularly within the paranormal genre. Experience in editing or beta reading, even better if specifically in the romance or paranormal genres, is highly desired. This role is ideal for someone who can provide constructive feedback that helps me enhance the plot of my novels and can communicate this feedback in an audio format. The aim is to ensure the plot is engaging and coherent, while maintaining the essence of the story.

...Organizer App (Working Title) Project Description: I need a web application developed to manage and organize short audio recordings. Users should be able to upload audio files (3 seconds max) and categorize them with basic labels. Key Features: User accounts and login system Ability to upload audio files (3 seconds max) - MP3 format preferred Option to add simple labels (e.g., "Meeting Notes," "Quote") to each audio file Ability to sort and filter audio files by upload date or label Basic interface for browsing and listening to uploaded audio files Secure storage of user data (audio files and labels) Target Audience: This app caters to users who want a simple way to organize and access short audio snippets for personal use. Think of it as a basic a...

English to french and Spanish.

I need assistance in integrating an automatically generated Order ID within my Google Forms. Many people do it so, AT THE END the form, it will generate an ID number that will go into the Google Sheet where the responses go. In this case, I need it to be in form of a Short Question INSIDE THE GOOGLE FORM, Not at the end. So this way, the number generated will be part of the info the client sunbmits like Name, Phone Number, Zip Code, etc. Please ask questions before agreeing to begin.

I'm looking for a freelancer who's great at web scraping to help with a project involving a specific website initially, with potential for more. I'll give you the specific data fields to extract. It'd be great if you: Are really good at web scraping and or Python. Know your way around MS SQL Server databases, not essential but definately an advantage. Understand how to extract data effectively. Understand the need for security and captcha integration if needed. Can work quickly since this project is a priority and needs to be done ASAP. Ultimately, I want to be able to manage the code with your ongoing help, so this could lead to a long-term partnership. I'll share the full details when needed. You will provide source code, documentation and deployment info...

Looking for 1 person to help me create several short videos for marketing advertising on social networks. Here I leave you an example of animation:

I'm seeking an experienced CAD designer to create an AutoCAD (.dwg) image of a device similar to a shopping cart coin lock with basic details. the unit will need to be 100mm long and 60m wide, and a height more than 50mm Details Needed: - While this project does not require detailing the tiny internal compo...importance that the design meets patent illustrative standards and norms. Ideal Skills & Experience: - AutoCAD proficiency - Prior experience in designing patent illustrations - Knowledge of shopping cart coin lock systems would be advantageous This assignment is the first of many, with potential for ongoing work for the right freelancer. Preferably, the completed design should be delivered within a short timeframe. Please provide relevant examples of your previous ...

Armenian to English Translator Required for translation

The goal is to adjust timing of subtitles. The subtitles are in English. The video is in German. It is important that only the timing ist adjusted the content of the subtitles file must remain exactly the same. There is about 850 subtitle files that cover about 10 hours of video (each clip is about 40 seconds). The audio quality is excellent (studio quality).

I need a professional Hindi to English translator to convert educational content in the form of documentaries. The educational content is in Hindi and needs to be translated into English. Key requirements: - Translate documentaries from Hindi to English. Would prefer: - Professional experience in translation. - Experience with educational content is a plus.

...series of ecommerce product videos into short, engaging 10-15 second clips for our website. Project Details: Edit original video footage into high-quality 10-15 second product videos. Include shots of models walking on and off the screen as well as close-up details of the garments. Ensure seamless transitions and a cohesive look and feel across all videos. Deliver final videos in a format optimized for web display. Requirements: Proven experience in video editing, particularly for ecommerce or fashion brands. Proficiency in video editing software (e.g., Adobe Premiere Pro, Final Cut Pro). Strong attention to detail and a keen eye for aesthetics. Ability to meet deadlines and work independently. A portfolio showcasing your previous work, especially short product videos. ...

Established business is looking for telemarketer/sales person. Experience required. English without any accent. Mon-Fri 8:30am - 5:00pm. EST

I'm seeking a skilled social media content creator, primarily for Instagram and Facebook. The purpose of the content is to promote a product or service in an elegant and luxurious style. Key Responsibilities: - Craft visually appealing and engaging social media posts. - Edit and create short videos for Instagram. - Ensure the content aligns with our brand's elegant and luxurious theme. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proven experience in social media content creation. - In-depth knowledge of Instagram and Facebook. - Proficiency in video editing software. - Strong understanding of luxury branding and marketing. - Ability to work well under tight deadlines. - Excellent communication skills to understand our brand's vision and translate it into captivating content. I...

I am looking for a talented graphic designer to help me create some cool and funny T-shirts for my brand targeting professionals in the IT industry. You don't need to know code, but understanding some tech humor will be helpful! Key Responsibilities: - Translate my ideas into visually appealing and humorous designs for T-shirts - Create innovative and quirky designs with an insider IT perspective - Collaborate with me to ensure that the designs appeal to our target audience and align with our brand image Experience & Skills: - Proven experience in graphic design and expertise on design software and technologies. (Only Basic understanding of IT) - Strong aesthetic skills with the ability to combine various colors, fonts, and layouts - Understanding of the IT industry, ...

I'm in search of a skilled video editor capable of transforming my cricket content into a less than a minute engaging storytelling-style YouTube short reel. I'm specifically interested in someone who can seamlessly integrate animated transitions for an extra layer of visual appeal. - Duration: The project entails editing a clip that is less than a minute long. - Editing Style: Storytelling style editing is preferred. - Special Effects: Incorporate animated transitions. The ideal candidate is someone with: - Prior experience in the storytelling form of video editing. - A knack for adding animated transitions to videos. - A passion for cricket is a plus, but not required.

...blend, you could design a label that highlights this. Perhaps incorporate a blend ratio or mention the specific grapes used. Color Scheme: Consider using colors that complement the type of wine you're producing. For a red blend, deep reds, golds, and blacks could create a luxurious feel. For a white blend, lighter colors like creams, whites, and golds could convey elegance. Slogan (Optional): A short tagline can further enhance the brand image. Here are a few ideas: "The McCauley Cuvée: Slogan: "The McCauley Cuvée: Where heritage meets excellence."." Overall Shape: Classic Bordeaux bottle: This is a timeless and elegant shape that is widely recognized for quality wines. Burgundy bottle: This bottle has wider should...

Turkish Recording Project We have a project, that needs Native Turkish speakers, we will give you the text, and you need to record 110 short sentences. you just need to open the platform link, to read our text and record it, it's a very easy job. 1. You will need to record in a quiet place without loud background noise. and without an echo. 2. Each person Price is 4$ for 110 short sentences record. 3. Payment after received feedback, It will take time 1-2 weeks. If you are interested please let me know sure. I will contact u. A Good Opportunity For New Freelancers For taking 5 Star Review after their completion of the project. Thanks :

German Recording project We have a project, that needs Native German speakers, we will give you the text, and you need to record 89 short sentences. you just need to download our software, to read our text and record it, it's a very easy job. 1. You will need to record in a quiet place without loud background noise. and without an echo. 2. Each person Price is 8$ for 89 short sentences record. 4. The project will take about 10-15 mins only. If you are interested please let me know sure. I will contact u. A Good Opportunity For New Freelancers For taking 5 Star Review after their completion of the project. Thanks :

i have Pojo class where it is picking property value from api response as integer in the Pojo Class: @JsonProperty("intensity") private Integer intensity; public Integer getColor() { return color; } public void setColor(Integer color) { = color; } and in parser class (INTENSITY, Objec...condition so i can parse the string value this way: updateProperties("color", ((), )); how i can solve this issue so in case checkVariant is true then parse it as string otherwise leave it as it is now which integer. can i do that only on parser or i need to change the Pojo class as well (colorWsDTO) who can do it in summery and short let em know , thanks please consider error handling in this case