(Sample) What' went wrong? In spite of my meticulous adherence to the ancient ritual, performed under a full moon, I didn’t get what I wanted (i.e., Money for nothin' and my chicks for free, etc.). Maybe I had missed something? Or maybe I did something out of order, violating the strict, time honored sequence of the ritual? Let me see. To make sure, I'll replay my recording:
"In the outer garment of a Druid Religious High Priest (a robe made from the fibers of a revered, 500 year-old Banyan tree in India), I am carefully outlining a circle, 5 ft. in diameter, with the rare white powder of crushed whale bones. Note: Authentic whale bone powder can only be obtained from the reclusive tribe of Inuit Eskimos called the "Oonict-huhkuct" (translated: We can sell ANYTHING to those foreigners!)...Now I am bleeding a chicken - that was freshly slaughtered by a local pigmy - along two perpendicular lines within the sacred circle; forming a perfect "X" inside the circle...I am now inhaling seven puffs of herbal smoke from my antique, American Indian peace-pipe and feeling my 'animal spirit' entering my body and mind...Completing this secret ritual, I disrobe...I am now dancing for the prescribed 'twenty-three minutes and twenty-three seconds EXACTLY' around the perimeter of the circle and chanting the arcane spell from the forbidden book of 'Dire Sraits'; clad only in a tight, tiger skin T-back thong; of course, worn backwards."
As you can see, I did everything right, right?